While reading through the past posts I found I had made a pretty firm promise to myself about losing some of those unwanted pounds.  Well it is past the time I had set for reaching my goal and I must confess I’m full of hot air and hollw promises.

I have lost a total of 2 lbs. and no more.  I suddenly stop worrying about my lungs and looks and started to concentrate on keeping the person I loving call ‘the blind guy’ a little more comfortable. When I get bored or stressed I grab a couple of cookies or a handful of Doritos and the tension goes away.  Unfortunately the pounds don’t and at this moment I don’t give a rat’s ass about it.  Not too positive but I guess I haven’t got the need or the well power to tackle it right now.  I guess if I were up for the Mrs. America title or running for the Senate I would try a little harder.

The snow keeps blinking on and off each morning when I awake.
The stress of seeing it come and go is more than I can take.
For heaven’s sake and my sanity please make up your mind.
Is it sunny , flowery, Spring yet or is blustery winter all I find.

I long to pull the swing out and laze the afternoon away.
To hurry thru the household chores and enjoy a sunny day.
In winter I really must confess I don’t feel the need to clean.
But when Spring time comes with sun shining in the laxness can be seen.

The urge to throw open windows, turn the mattress, and air out everything.
Is like a tiny, little, warning bell in my head that begins to ring.
So let’s turn off that neon light blinking on and off unending.
Let nature be reborn, my life begin again, and happiness be there for the spending.

It could have been bad news but it ain’t.  Yesterday on a trip to the grocery store Jay lost his wallet.  We had lunch at a little diner in town but it was closed when we found he had lost it and a call to the grocery store resulted in nothing.  So it was call the the credit card company to put a hold on the card until we could determine the failure or secess of our hunt. 

First thing this morning a call to the diner turned up no wallet and a second call the people at VGee’s market was good news.  The wallet with everthing in tack was turned in.  They didn’t know who found it so we couldn’t reward or even thank them personally but I know that when you return too much change to a cashier or help some one in a situation good things like this happen to you.

I’m tired of staying inside because it is winter.
I’m tired of trying to put pictures on my blog and failing because I don’t know how to fix a goof. 
I’m tired of hearing “Ask your doctor if this is right for you.”
I’m tired of “side affects may include”.
I’m tired of having to choose the lesser of two evils in an election when I don’t know who is the lesser of two evils and even if I did, I would rather vote for a canidate I believed in.
I’m tired of worrying about when one of my kids is going to get too broken to fix.
I’m tired of worrying about if the grandkids are going to make it through this mess we call life.
I’m tired of thinking I should post something.
I’m tired of feeling like after the medication and feeding I want to go back to bed until the next pill or shot is due.  Knowing full well he can’t do it himself.
I’m tired that the highlight of my day is chasing the squirrels off the bird feeder.
I’m tired of whining, bitching, complaining, and stressing myself out about shit I can’t change, can’t ignore, or can’t redo.
So I guess I will be thankful that everyone will be breathing tomorrow, that I can afford to buy necessities, and can find happiness in a bit of sunshine.

The headache will go away.  The winter will leave also.  And I will climb out of the rut and start smiling again very soon.

Now on the eighth day of the dizzies and each day get a little better.

I walked around the dome today.  It reached 62 degrees and the snow is gone.  In the North-East flower bed there is a little bunch of yellow and blue flowers.  The first to come up from those I planted last fall.  Being the dork I am about flowers I forgot what they are called.  But Spring dreams will end too soon .  The weather man says snow for Sunday!!

An E-mail from Puss suggested a current experience that triggered a memory from the past.  This memory had two triggers.  One was Jay’s remark about “Timmy In The Well” when the cat was being very vocal and the second while reading Neil Gamian’s “American Gods” Shadow made a remark “or is this a Timmy is in the well thing”.  Wow the little blonde kid and the collie came racing across my mind.