The WASHINGTON POST runs a column each summer listing interesting WOMEN’S T-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland, beach.
Here are some examples:

1. I CHILD PROOFED MY HOUSE, BUT THEY STILL GET IN.

2. (On the front) 60 IS NOT OLD. (On the back) IF YOU’RE A TREE.

3. I’M STILL HOT… IT JUST COMES IN FLASHES.

4. AT MY AGE, “GETTING LUCKY” MEANS FINDING MY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT.

5. MY REALITY CHECK JUST BOUNCED.

6. LIFE IS SHORT; MAKE FUN OF IT.

7. I’M NOT 50. I’M $49.95 PLUS TAX.

8. I NEED SOMEBODY BAD… ARE YOU BAD?

9. I’M NOT A SNOB. I’M JUST BETTER THAN YOU ARE.

10. IT’S MY CAT’S WORLD. I’M JUST HERE TO OPEN CANS.

11. EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM OF THE UNIVERSE.

12. WE GOT RID OF THE KIDS. THE CAT WAS ALLERGIC.

13. MY MIND WORKS LIKE LIGHTNING. ONE BRILLIANT FLASH AND IT’S GONE.

14. EVERY TIME I HEAR THE DIRTY! WORD “EXERCISE,” I WASH MY MOUTH OUT WITH A
CHOCOLATE BAR .

15. LIVE YOUR LIFE SO THAT WHEN YOU DIE, YOUR FRIENDS WILL NOT HAVE TO TELL LIES AT YOUR FUNERAL.

From friend Pam—Thank you for the smile.  I especially liked 1.  and 12.