Blame

Blame

If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she was holding in her lap while driving, she blames the restaurant.

If your teen-age son kills himself, you blame the rock ‘n’ roll music or musician he liked.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.

If your daughter gets pregnant by the football captain you blame the school for poor sex education.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, you blame the bartender.

If your cousin gets AIDS because the needle he used to shoot up with heroin was dirty, you blame the government for not providing clean ones.

If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilots at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is any more. So if I die while my old, wrinkled ass is parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates, OK?

Thanks Pam for sharing!

Courtney Is Jammin’ Too!

A two mile trip down to Blueberry Lane Farm on Friday evening resulted in a very busy afternoon when SEB brought Little Snit and Courtney up to visit yesterday. 

Granddaughter Courtney joined us yesterday in the blueberry jam making. She worked on sorting, mashing, and putting the lids on.

In 8 oz jars we canned 9 1/2 jars of blueberry-rhubarb jam. This is a new flavor for us. Our neighbor Phyllis said she had tried it when she visitedFrankenmuth,  Mi. recently.
We also canned 5 jars of no sugar blueberry jam for Jay and 16 1/2 8 oz. jars and 2 pint jars of regular bluberry jam.

Another flavor to go down on the jam shelf!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED—

—the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren’t overweight because
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms……….WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!

You mght want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?!

My thanks to “Dave Mandell” for writing this, And Shane and Avery for passing it on.  It certainly tells it like it is.

Another Oldster’s Test!

Test for Dementia”

        “It’s that time of year to take our annual senior citizen
        test.”
        Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the
        muscles.  As we grow older, it’s important that we keep
        mentally alert The saying; ! “If you don’t use it, you will
        lose it” also applies to the brain, so…  Below is a very
        private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

          So, take the following test presented here and determine if
        you are losing it or are still “with it.”  The spaces below
        are so you don’t see the answers until you have made your
        answer.

          OK, relax, clear your mind and… begin.
        WELL MAYBE NOT THAT CLEAR!

          1. What do you put in a toaster?

          Answer: “bread.”  If you said “toast,” then give up now and
        go do something else.  Try not to hurt yourself.  If you
        said, “bread,” go to Question 2.

          2. Say “silk” five times.  Now spell “silk.”  What do cows
        drink?

          Answer: Cows drink water.  If you said “milk,” please do not
        attempt the next question.  Your brain is obviously over
        stressed and may even overheat.  It may be that you need to
        content yourself with reading something more appropriate such
        as Children’s World.  If you said “water” then proceed to
        question 3.

        3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is
        m ade from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink
        bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a
        green ! house made from?

          Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.  If you said
        “green
        bricks,” what the devil are you still doing here reading these
        questions?????
        If you said “glass,” then! go on to Question 4.

        4. It’s twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet
        over
          Germany   (If you will recall, Germany at the time was
        politically
        divided into West Germany and East Germany.)  Anyway, during
        the flight, TWO of the engines fail.  The pilot, realizing
        that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a
        crash landing procedure.  Unfortunately the engine fails
        before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the
        middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West
        Germany.  Where would you bury the survivors?  East Germany
        or West Germany or in “no man’s land”?

        Answer: You don’t, of course, bury survivors.
        If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must
        NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash.  Your efforts
        would not be appreciated.  If you said, “Don’t bury the
        survivors”, then proceed to the next question.

          5. Without using a calculator – You are driving a bus from
        London to Milford Haven in Wales.  In London, 17 people get
        on the bus.  In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine
        people get on.  In Swindon, two people get off and four get
        on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In
        Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In
        Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then
        arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

        Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
        Don’t you remember your own name? It was YOU!!

        Now pass this along to all your “smart friends” and hope they
        do better than you did.
        PS: 95% of people fail in most of the questions!!

Thanks to Shannon, Skyline,

Fruits Of Our Labor!

We started last night and finished this morning with 18 regular, 5 no sugar, and 2 partially filled ( end of a batch) 8 oz. jars of what promises to be our best Apricot Jam yet.

After our appointment this afternoon we start canning straight Apricots. We still have a peck and a quarter left to do up. These will be packed in light syrup so Jay can help me eat them up!

That will be an anniversary gift that will keep giving all winter long.

An update:
22 pints of straight apricots are now resting in the downstairs pantry.  Canned in light syrup they taste a little tart but very good.  The texture leaves a little bit to be desired.  Next time we will cold pack and process to cut down on the time they are heated.  This is how we learn our lessons!

Our Second Adventure In Two Days!

This morning we were going two miles down the road to pick blueberries for jam.  But seeing it is our 31st Wedding Anniversary we decided a nice drive in the country was in order. Now with gas prices the way they are we had to have a legitimate reason for this ride.  After a bit of discussion we decided that going for Michigan apricots to make jam was a great reason. 

Our trip would be 275.8 miles round trip and take over 4 1/2 hours plus time out for lunch. Our destination was Robinette’s AppleHaus near Grand Rapids, MI.

When we drove in we found The apple haus and a gift shop.

They had a swing near the building, outside picnic tables, and this huge apple in the picnic area.

We had lunch in their dining room. I had the Chicken Salad plate with dried cherries and slivered almond. there was also a muffin (warmed)and a small fruit cocktail dish. Jay had a Ham and Cheese on a Kaiser roll with chips and the fruit cocktail also.

All this for two pecks of apricots—

Was it worth it ? You bet we used to love to travel together so what better way to spend our anniversary! Thank you Sweet Hubby!

The Tea Sandwiches!

Our adventure is done and we forgot to take pictures!  Yes this morning we were up at 5 AM to start assembling tea sandwiches (over 96 in four flavors).

The first was a combination of lemon and white raisins with mayo on white thin sliced bread. Cut into stars approximately two inches across it took a while to complete.

The second was White Cheddar Chutney on thin whole wheat bread. Theses were cut in one and a half inch circles, mayo on the edges, and then rolled in dry parsley leaves because the coriander leaves tasted soapy.

Our third sandwich was Smoked Salmon with Ginger-Cilantro Lime Butter on thin white bread cut into triangles.

The last one was Moroccan Carrot and Goat Cheese.  The carrots were marinated over night.  Tapenade was spread on one slice of thin pumpernickel and goat cheese on the other. Place the carrots in the middle and cut into quarters.

Jay put together everything that could safely be combined last night and we completed it this morning.  We had it wrapped,  in styrofoam coolers with ice in the bottom, and delivered by 9 AM this morning.

When you think that we went to Grand Blanc for the thin sliced salmon, to Burton to find a bakery to thin slice the bread, and to Birch Run for the cutters it was a good project for us.

We did this project for my neighbor so we don’t know if they were a hit or not yet.

Update:
Yesterday afternoon Phyllis called to say the sandwiches were a hit! 

Thoughts And Laws!

Thought for the Day
“I’m am NOT totally useless; I could be used as a Bad Example!”

THE LAWS OF CHOCOLATE:

1: If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.

2:  Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3:  The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

4:  Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

5:  A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?

6:  If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?

7:  If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

8:  If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?

9:  Money talks. Chocolate sings.

10:  Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

11: Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
    A. Because no one wants to quit.

12:  If not for chocolate, there would be no needfor control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

13:  Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one things done.

14:  And my favorite: Before consuming any chocolate, first break it into pieces. The process of breaking allows the calories to leak out!

Another Thought for the Day
“Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet!”

Thank you Pam!

Subject: What Would You Do?

Instead of forwarding this message I decided to share it with all who care to visit here.  Thank you Kathleen for sharing it with me!

You make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line. There isn’t one. Read it anyway.

My question to all of you is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question.

“When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?”

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. “I believe, that when a child like Shay comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child.”

Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.

Shay asked, “Do you think they’ll let me play?”

Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging. Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play.

The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.”

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield.

Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible ‘cause Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on a high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!”

Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!”

By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions and intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head.

Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases toward home.

Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third!”

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, “Shay, run home!”

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the “grand slam” and won the game for his team.

“That day,” said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, “the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.”

AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you’re probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren’t the “appropriate” ones to receive this type of message.

Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the “natural order of things.” How better to serve humanity, than to have a positive influence on a child!!!

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

You now have two choices:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about.
You already know the choice I opted for.

Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

What Does Love Mean?

An E-mail sent by my Friend Pam deserves to be shared so here it is!

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?” The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. ….. See what you think:

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” Rebecca – age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” Karl – age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” Terri – age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” Danny – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss” Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” Nikka – age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” Noelle – age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” Tommy – age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” Cindy – age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” Clare – age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” Elaine- age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.” Chris – age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” Mary Ann – age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” Lauren – age 4

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” (what an imagination) Karen – age 7

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.” Mark – age 6

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” Jessica – age 8

And the final one—Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry”