1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up”.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10.You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog/cat Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of   one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you’re a girl, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to…” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate her
instead of asking “Oh S*$#! What Happened!?!?!?!
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old butt.

Thanks for sharing Dar!

For four days now a little voice has been tapping on the inside of my forehead. Mom always said I’d end up hearing voices! But I digress. This little voice kept saying, “Where have you been little girl”? Even if I am a bit older I knew it was talking to me.

Reviewing these last days things like a quick weight gain for both Jay and I brought some concerns. Trying to figure out what to do occupied part of the time. A change in Jay’s medication brought bad numbers in his blood pressure and blood sugar. I had figure out a plan to combat that. This meant back to the old records of diets, menus, and exercise. Still trying to work on a menu plan that will handle both kidney and diabetes problems at the same time. Lastly waiting for a phone call from my Doctor on the results of my stress test. Oh well I’ve had many years to do the damage so I’ll have to take it as it comes.

On the lighter side I have to figure another Halloween picture of Molly before Thanksgiving gets here. I also find myself grabbing the camera every time I leave the house. The trees are beautiful as I drive around. I keep saying that on my way back home I’ll stop and catch some of the color, but I never do. Soon there will be no leaves to shoot.

Jay and I are getting ready to move the swing to down under the deck again. I have to start gathering the lawn ornaments to store in the shed through the winter. I’m hoping David will be up soon to convert the tractor from a lawn mower to a snow plow. There is some brush to be cut from the base of some of the trees out back. I’m still waiting for 10 redbud trees and 10 lilac bushes to plant before the ground gets too hard to dig. I am debating pulling the solar lights along the driveway so we don’t slide into them in the snow.

I just remembered I forgot to end the onion/potato box saga. Jay had started these just before one of the times he went temporarily blind. The cuts were off and no matter how hard he tried the boxes didn’t come together right. I finally told him to scrap them and we will try again next year. It upset him to lose all the time and materials but it was worse to see him try to save it. Sometimes it is better to step back, take a deep breath, and try again.

So that is where I have been hiding.  Nothing earth shaking, no great discoveries, just the simple things that ‘old folks’ face every day.  I’m thankful for that!

When the driveway doorbell plays the first few notes on Beethoven’s 5th and the mail lady’s horn sounds you know something good is going to happen. Sure enough a brown envelope from a (I want to use the word dear here and I will) friend in another state. It contains the work of a woman who brings a bit of personal life, daily struggles, and worth while accomplishments every day to my life. She makes me want to cheer for her accomplishments, feel sad when she is sad, and happy when she is happy. That is a lot to give to someone like me who was a stranger not so very long ago. Now I can hold her labor of love in my hands and share it with others who are important in my life. Thank you ever so much!

Did you know that it’s Beautiful Women Month?

Well, it is and that means you and me. I’m supposed to send this to FIVE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN but I wanted to share this with everyone. 

Facts on Figures: There are 3 billion women who don’t look like super models and only eight who do.

Did you know Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14 ?

If Barbie was a real woman, she’d have to walk on all FOURS due to her proportions!

The average woman weighs 144 pounds, and wears between a size 12-14.

One out of every 4 college-aged women has an eating disorder.

The Models in the magazines are AIRBRUSHED!!! – NOT Perfect!!

A psychological study in 1995 found that 3 minutes spent looking at a Fashion Magazine caused 70% of women to feel depressed, guilty and SHAMEFUL!

Models 20 years ago weighed 8% Less than the average Woman.

Today they weigh 23% less……

~~ Beauty of a Woman ~~
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows..

An English professor wrote the words: “WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS NOTHING” on the blackboard, and directed the students to punctuate it correctly

The men wrote: “Woman, WITHOUT HER MAN, is nothing.”

The women wrote: “WOMAN!! WITHOUT HER, man is nothing!”

The Images of Mother

4 years OF AGE Y My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mother doesn’t really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Y Naturally, Mother doesn’t know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE Y Mother? She’s hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE Y That old woman? She’s way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Y Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Y Before we decide, let’s get Mom’s opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Y Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE Y Wish I could talk it over with Mom. .

This is for all the phenomenal women I know in celebration of Women’s History Month.

Thank you Pam for sharing!

Some people have gnomes, figurines, or cement geese to dress.
In their garden, on their lawn, or next to the fence.

Me I have a flag pole at my side door.
With a flag for any season, colors galore.

But hanging in all weather for weeks in a row.
Brings fading and shredding, the wear starts to show.

So it’s off the store in search of new flags.
To hang on the pole in place of the rags.

It was out with the green witch and her crystal ball.
In with the cat and pumpkin in colors of fall.

When my daughter chose you it sealed your fate.  You are stuck with us David.  I hope we aren’t too hard on you.  Because when you turn 34 like you are today things can get a little overwhelming.  But be assured it will get———.  (whatever you want it to be)! 

Happy Birthday David and many more to come!

Today was the day. A stress test for Momma. I was already stressed when I heard the instructions on Friday afternoon. No caffeine for 24 hours before the test. No dairy products after 8 am today. I can have a slice of dry toast or a muffin with juice as long as it is before the 8 am deadline. It was downhill from there.

Sunday evening I kept so busy doing nothing that I past my deadline before I got my last cup of coffee for the night. I slept very poorly waking up a lot and taking a drink of caffeine free pop or water. Which in turned cause a peeing urge two hours later. That in turn called for another drink of whatever and so it went all night. It also brought on a terrible headache. I know withdrawal but it didn’t make it any easier.

Jay woke me up at a little after 8 am which made breakfast out of the question. I didn’t tell him about the deadline so it wasn’t his fault. I was up a few minutes and decided the headache called for a little more lay down. Less then an hour later I was up again. O. k. I’m stressed now no need to go in for a test. I wished!

I arrived at the trailer parked beside the doctor’s office at 12:10 pm. Filled out the papers and got a shot in the arm. Then I was told to go wait for an hour then come back. I went out to the truck, grabbed my book, and settled down to wait.

An hour later it was back to the trailer, stretch out with my hands over my head, and have pictures taken by a machine for 25 minutes. Of course in this position your nose always starts to itch. You feel like a turtle with a shell that has shifted up to his chin. The head still feel like seven drummers have taken up residence in it.

Then up off the table into the other area to be wired up and climb on the treadmill. With my Dr. standing by they started the walking. As you are walking Doctor asked about pain. I have none. The test assistant asked if I am short of breath. Funny Man! I’m 234 lbs and 70 years old—damn right I’m short of breath. I was told to hang in there just a little longer and I did. Doctor was not happy with something but at point I couldn’t give a half a rat’s ass I was so tired. I then was told to rest for 30 minutes. and come back. 

The good news was I could go get a cup of my beloved coffee and a bite to eat. I managed two bites of sandwich and seven small sips of coffee because it was so hot. Then back to the trailer for the last set of picture 25 minutes later I put my arms down, sat up, and for the first time in 29 hours I had no headache. 

Damn I hate that test!

Alas Old Orange Head I knew him well.
Until like Humpty Dumpty he too fell.

He would perch on counters, tables, or a sill.
Never once was he wished any ill will.

Even Molly would share his small window space.
Sitting side by side the camera to face.

But sadness settled before this Halloween.
When checking his box only pieces were seen.

He’d been with us always—at least nine or ten years.
But a rattle in the box awaken my fears.

See ceramics or glass don’t take well to a fall.
Dropping and slamming are like hitting a wall.

The picture shows them alive but one is now dead.
I’m glad it wasn’t Molly but the pumpkin instead!

Today Is Sweetest Day.  The day when Hallmark, American Greetings, and the florists of America smile.  But when I went looking for a card for my better half all I found was I Love You—Take off your clothes!  Well folks at my age this would create howls of laughter not thoughts of romance.  So I saved my $ 3.00 and told him about the card choices then we laughed like crazy at the idea which had the same results.

Seeing I’m not interested in seeing any of you with your clothes off either I’m sending you this little heart instead.  Happy Sweetest Day everyone!

Days are getting shorter.
The fire bush is getting redder.
Afternoons are crisper,
Nights are colder!

The snowball bush in the front yard is turning brown.
But one small spot still thinks it is summer.
White blossoms hanging on.
Reminding me that after the snow comes the flowers.

Now the spooky eyes of Halloween
are gathering around my wishing well.
More signs of October
Grasping at my life!