Thursday, October 09, 2003
ALEX
I came upon Alex last Monday night. My constant companion for the next 40 hours, but not without some inconvenience. If I went to the bathroom Alex had to come in before I could close the door. When I walked the corridors Alex and Sweet Thing were on either side of me. It seemed I tripped over Alex more than Sweet Thing did so that was good!
When I laid down to rest Alex never left my side. Sometimes it was hard to eat with Alex in the way. Alex tangled my phone line with my light/tv controller and I sat there clicking my phone at the TV and wondered why the hell I couldn’t change the channels…
I had trouble taking a sponge bath and changing my gown because Alex wouldn’t wait outside. One time while changing my gown Alex got caught under the knot in the back and I didn’t realize it until I raised my arm to scratch my head and flashed over half of the South 2 floor. If I forgot and tried to walk away from Alex he would jerk on my arm and stop me.
There seemed to be no end to his devotion to me. I should have felt gratitude, but all I felt was trapped.
If you have ever spent time in the castle of cleanliness then you have met Alex… Maybe not by the name I called him--but you know him--long, tall, aluminum, wheeled base, tubes, a white battery box and that fucking cord that you forget to unplug when moving from one location to another ...That’s right he’s that IV pole you are wedded to (for better or for worse) until going home frees you and leaves him behind!!!!
If you don’t believe this ask ‘Cindyisms’ she’ll tell you it happened.
SAY DID YOU KNOW THAT AN ALLEGED GALL BLADDER ATTACK CAUSES --SHIT I FORGOT!!!!
Castle Of Cleanliness!
Yep I’m back and roaring. What a comedy of errors this has been! After a very painful night I crawled out of bed Monday morning feeling like I had been chewed up and spit out on a concrete sidewalk. Called the Doctor’s office and got an appointment for 3:20 pm. With the “better half” not driving I waited for the “Sweet Thing” to get up here to take me.
It was downhill post haste from there and it resulted in a 40 hr stay in the castle of cleanliness. Did you know that hospitals induce dementia? It is not the hospital’s fault, but when you are me you’ve got to blame someone.
In emergency they eased the pain, and medicated me in preparation for a needed test. Unfortunately the test didn’t transpire right away, the diarrhea did!
I proceeded to, as nurses said, “paint the bathroom”. Wonderful and so humbling for the Ego!!!