Saturday, March 12, 2005
Hubby Update!
Update on the hubby-- He seems to be getting better but as with all hospital stays you don’t hear much except from him. His personal physican is in every day to keep an eye on him.
Cindy has been visiting every off day she has had, but she called today to say her father-in-law, Doug is in the hospital now with an enlarged heart and I believe pneumonia. This has been a bad winter for this family. My prayers are with Doug and his family.
I will continue to visit Jay as often as old man winter allows and hopefully his surgery date is near now.
Tasteful Joke!
Subject: Tasteful Joke
Another Email and another smile! Thanks Dawn!
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.”
Wipe that smile off your face!
Brake Fluid!
Another bit of nonsense from a friend’s email to help us through the day! Having raised two boys and being raised with three brothers I can relate!
where did i put that brake fluid…
Rearing boys
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
Things I’ve learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already
too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much J ell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can’t walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR’s do not eject “PB &J” sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without kids.