Wednesday, April 13, 2005
A Letter To Your Pet!
Another E-mail too cute not to share with you!
Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cat’s butt.
To pacify you, I have posted the following message on our front door.....
Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
- They live here. You don’t.
- If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
- I like my pet better than I like most people.
- To you it’s an animal. To me he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.
- Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, and are easier to train. They usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t drink or smoke, don’t worry about buying the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
Pass this on to all your pet-loving friends, and to non-pet lovers also.
Thank you Shane and Susan for sending it to me!
I Got ‘Em!
Yep! 50 regular Iris bulbs and 25 Dutch Iris bulbs so next year my flag will have company. I also picked up 5 red Canna bulbs. I planned on putting them in today but got busy with getting Jay’s Bi-PAP machine fixed and another blood test. So maybe tomorrow their growing will begin again.
But I did get out on the side of the house to see how last years bulbs were doing.
They seem to be coming along!
Something ate some of my Day lilies last year so I’ll try them again in the fall!
So any way this is how she looks right now and it is nothing fancy but it makes me feel good.