Monday, June 13, 2005
Old Age Bites
Thanks to Pam and Sally for this Little gem!
Old Age Bites!
I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my
face.
You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as
long as you don’t have to go along.
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to
every man. Isn’t that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go
anywhere.
Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have
begun to grow in the middle.
Someone has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What
could hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his
Doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one
that will get you home earlier.
You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the
only thing you care to exercise.
At my age, “getting a little action” means I don’t need to take a
laxative.
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid
you.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way
through Congress.
You’re getting old when “getting lucky” means you find your car in the
parking lot.
You’re getting old when your wife gives up fooling around for Lent, and
you don’t know till the 4th of July.
You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling,
and you didn’t do anything the night before.
