Friday, August 12, 2005
TWENTY WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:
Thanks to my friend Jeff --here is a smile for you!
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
Hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom, Don’t disguise your voice
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks, then once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addiction switch to Espresso.
6. In the Memo field of all your checks write “For Sexual Favors”
7. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the Prophecy”
8. Don’t use punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk
10. Ask people what sex they are, then laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is “To Go”
12. Sing along at the opera
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play topical sounds
all day
15. Five days in advance tell your friends you cant attend their party
because you are not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your Wrestling name, Rock
Hard!
17. When the money comes out of the ATM scream “I Won! I Won!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
19. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy we are going
to have to let one of you go.”
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity
20. Send this message to someone to make them smile....its called
therapy!!!
