Thursday, September 29, 2005
Hollywood Squares
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when “Hollywood Squares” game show responses were spontaneous and clever. Sadly many of these people are no longer with us but old or new to you they are worth a smile. Thanks Dar!
Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. Enjoy!
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I Love You”?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are “Do It,” “I Can Help,” and “I Can’t Get Enough”?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh
Beats the Dickens---
The Paper says it is going into the 30’s tonight. So it was open the living room door and pull my plants inside. This is a ritual that started after I received the low bushy one from my mom before she died in 1992. The tall one is mine and I had it just as long. In the past I have slipped up and left them outside too long. They have lost all their leaves and looked really rough until they grew accustomed to the inside.
These plants live inside until after the danger of frost has past in the spring. They are getting pretty large for the pots they are in and will have to be re-potted soon. I will look into caddies to move them around on when the new pots are purchased. The name of my plants ---beats the dickens out me-- I used to know but it fell out of my ears years ago! Maybe one of you can help me on that and I’ll write it down I promise!
Update; Saturday 10/01/05 My friend Pammie says that they are umbrella plants. Thanks Pammie!
Monday, September 26, 2005
I Hurt!!!
Four days ago a walk outside after a day of rain inspired me to get busy on the weeds in the flower beds. Everyone knows that after a rain the weeds pull easy and they sure needed pulling.
So I started on the east side of the house at the step of the deck and set to work. Now bending over is out of the question.. Yes I can bend over and reach the ground but the problem of losing my balance rears it’s ugly head. I fear falling forward and smashing my poor old face into the ground or the house.
So it was get out the kneeling bench. But the knee I fell on a few weeks back had a little argument to put up. I finally won and got to filling the bushel basket with weeds.
I filled it once and Jay took it down to the composter while I kept pulling. As I neared the front of the house the knee was screaming, arms from pushing up to stand were adding their two cents and my legs were beginning to shake. I finally decided I had enough for one day and staggered into the house.
That night was sheer torture--sleep a little wake up aching, sleep a little more and wake up again. I could hardly move to go to the bathroom when I needed. When I got up that morning I thought I’d been caught in a log jam. Everything hurt. I hurt to stand up. I hurt to sitdoen . I hurt to walk. I hurt to lay down. This went on through Saturday and it wasn’t until late Sunday that I was starting to feel a little better.
This morning I was almost human again. I still have the other side of the house to weed but I don’t think it will be anytime soon.
Eugene? or Tiny?
If you call him Gene or Tiny or Clem or Eugene he is still my brother!
Today is my brother Gene’s birthday. Yep he is a whole 66 years young, still driving over the road, and as full of bull as ever! Every call from all over the country ends with a groaner (joke)! But there is a comfort to know he is still safe!
Happy Birthday brother and many more ‘cause I don’t want to be the only one out here gettin’ older!
Friday, September 23, 2005
‘Must Be Jelly ‘Cause---’
Last Monday I picked grapes next door at Phyllis’ house. Almost all she had left on her vines and got over three lbs. Never having picked grapes before and never made jelly either this was a new adventure for me!
On Tuesday after the stem removal, the rinsing, and the initial cooking Jay mashed the grapes and put them in the jelly bag.
A new contraption to me but Jay had worked with it before. I kept checking the flow of the juice but it seemed like it was taking forever. Finally after the flow lessened to a solitary drip he squeezed out the last of the juice. Then back to the stove for the final cooking with sugar and fruit pectin added.
A fine taste and great color---I guess we did it right!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I Wish You Enough
This image is from a post from Silver Fox Whispers
The text from an Email from Skyline
The lump in your throat from me because I got one too!
Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter’s departure had been announced.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, “I love you and I wish you enough.”
The daughter replied, “Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.”
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry.
I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?”
“Yes, I have,” I replied. “Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?”
“I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral,” she said.
When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”
She began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more.
“When we said ‘I wish you enough’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them”.
Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you posses.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, An hour to appreciate them, A day to love them, and an entire life to forget them.
TAKE TIME TO LIVE
To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Bits And Pieces In Mid September!
A day full of sunshine as I stand gazing at the glitter of the wind chime and wishing that it would stay this way all winter long. Not that I don’t like snow but as the years past it get harder to get around. Balance and stamina are strained a little more in winter.
Today I’m waiting for my neighbor to come home from work. She said we could pick grapes from her vines for jelly. I know I said the canning kitchen had closed for this year. But at the hardware the other day I saw the set up for jelly bags. The next thing you know we had purchased more jelly jars, pick up more sugar and check the cupboard for the Sure Jell package. So all that remains is picking the grapes and I’ll have everything on hand for Jay to work his magic.
I think it is about time to make my way to the project closet and see what could be completed for Christmas gifts this year. Most of the family is in a financial pickle right now and have voiced the opinion that gifts are out of the question. So I figure if it is something purchased long ago to complete it doesn’t count as buying a gift and therefore nothing will be expected in return. Besides warm bodies with laughter falling out of their mouths are all I need for a gift any time of the year!
New Words
The leaves are crying all over the yard.
Their colors signaling us to be on guard,
The crops are dry still left in the field
Not much left now to call a yield.
The Autumn moon is big and oh so bright
It seems to try to dissolve the night.
Soon the wind will come and carry away
All the signs of this great fall day.
And as the days grow cold, short, and bleak
I’ll stay inside too sad to speak
Of that lovely warm September morn
When memories came and new words were born.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
For The Birds!
Friday was a trip to the Vet for our four feathered family members.
Chips was declared in very good health. She was my Aunt’s bird before she died so I have no idea how old she is.
Tekki was also checked and declared a little chubby. Again this bird belong to an older woman who could no longer take care of him. My clowning partner said she knew that I would take him.
This sweet baby came to us blind in one eye, her owner unable to take her when she moved. Her age is unknown but Echo is happy just to stay safe in her cage, nibble on your knuckles when you ask for a kiss, and going whoo, whoo when she is happy. Her general health is ok for her age.
Last is Spirit declared in excellent health but he is around six and a half years old. His papers are filed somewhere. He was six weeks old when I got him.
Every one was examined, had the beak, claws, and wings beauty treatment before they came home. All set for another year.
Today we changed the feeding station over to winter. The orioles have been gone for well over a month and the last hummingbird left a little over a week ago.
So now the new seed feeder is up and in place. We moved the finch feeder over to be viewable from the French doors in the dinning room.
One more item to buy---a plastic sled to put the bird seed on to haul it to the deck in the snow.
Then replenish the wild bird seed and suet cakes and the feed station will be in business!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
I Am Good!
Let us start out by saying the picture has nothing to do with this visit. I just like it!
I been under the weather for the last couple of days so I haven’t posted. After a day of pain I thought a call to the doctor’s office was in order because he isn’t in on Wednesdays. He said I had to come in so in I went. Doc Hukill proclaimed it to be pleurisy. The word brings to mind a time when grandmas spoke of gout, vapors, pox, the curse and being gimpy.
But I’m playing left field on that one. Indeed pleurisy is a pain in the back, chest, and my addition--the ass!
So to make a short story long the prescription -with insurance--was $60.48 for ten pills, some serious shit for $6.+ a pill!
Any way that isn’t what I wanted to talk about either. I wanted to tell you about the magic uterus. Now before you hit the delete key let me explain. For the past 30 some years I have look for and found numerous ‘lost’ items. Each time I have walked up to hubby with whatever it was he would say,"Ah the magic uterus strikes again!”
This afternoon he asked if I would help him locate the wheel chains for the tiller. We haven’t used it in a year or so because it became too hard for either of us to manage. He had checked the shed and the garage to no avail. Of course I would help him, so down the garage and check the shelves and boxes --nothing. All the time I’m thinking I remember them in a bucket. From there a quick search of the basement then off to the shed. I checked the floor and walls--nothing to be seen. Then low and behold on a shelf sat an orange plastic bucket and in it the chains. All right I found them. I walked back to the garage and told him where they were and asked what he was doing now. He explained he was trying to put the charger on the tiller battery and lost a battery bolt. So he was back in the garage trying to find another. I asked if he lost it in the shed and he replied yes. I went back out to the shed move the tiller after checking around the floor for it. I picked up a couple of items off the floor and there lay the bolt. Back to the garage bolt in hand and the thought that he would say the magic uterus strikes again! He said thankyou. But as I turned to leave I thought he said the other magic words. That’s why I love him!!
Wes And Deb
California--1990---September 15--- The day our son married a most amazing young lady.
Happy Anniversary Wes and Deb!
May you have many more!