Thursday, January 05, 2006
Ten Commandments Of Marriage
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand—and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish talking.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and
a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.
Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a
considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.
Commandment 10.
Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished!
This gem from Pam--Thank you for sharing!
Remember These Predictions?
Thank you Pam for sharing this with us. I found it fascinating.
“Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific
advances.”—Dr. Lee DeForest, Inventor of TV
“The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives.” - -
Admiral William Leahy, US Atomic Bomb Project
“There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom.” --
Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923
“Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.”—Popular
Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.”—Thomas
Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
“I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with
the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that
won’t last out the year.”—The editor in charge of business books for
Prentice Hall, 1957
“But what ... is it good for?”—Engineer at the Advanced Computing
Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.
“640K ought to be enough for anybody.”—Bill Gates, 1981
“This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered
as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to
us,”—Western Union internal memo, 1876.
“The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would
pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?”—David Sarnoff’s
associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the
1920s.
“The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better
than a ‘C,’ the idea must be feasible,”—A Yale University management
professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight
delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
“I’m just glad it’ll be Clark Gable who’s falling on his face and not
Gary Cooper,”—Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading
role in “Gone With The Wind.”
“A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say
America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,”
-- Response to Debbi Fields’ idea of starting Mrs. Fields’ Cookies.
“We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out,” --
Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.
“Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible,”—Lord Kelvin,
president, Royal Society, 1895.
“If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The
literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this,” - -
Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M
“Post-It” Notepads.
“Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil?
You’re crazy,”—Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his
project to drill for oil in 1859.
“Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.” - -
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.
“Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value,”—Marechal
Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
“Everything that can be invented has been invented,”—Charles H.
Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.
“The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of
the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by
the number of vacuum tubes required.”—professor of electrical
engineering, New York University
“I don’t know what use any one could find for a machine that would make
copies of documents. It certainly couldn’t be a feasible business by
itself.”—the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the
inventor to found Xerox.
“Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.”—Pierre
Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
“The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the
intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon,”—Sir John Eric Ericksen,
British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.
And last but not least…
“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”—Ken
Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977