Sunday, February 12, 2006
Better Already!
It has been winter too long. My complexion is the same color as this frog’s belly. I feel like I will just loose control and sink into oblivion if spring doesn’t come soon. I live from day to day thinking I want this, I want that, I want to go here, I want go there, and I want to go take a nap. I have had these obsessions before about wanting certain things and then when I get them I really didn’t want them at all or I never used them after all. What I really need sunshine, green grass, bushes budding, and the trees filled with new leaves not bent to the ground with snow.
I have whined for months about wanting a puppy. I have told everyone I want a mutt dog. I even enlisted the help of my Doctor as to how a puppy would make me exercise more. Then I wake some mornings and as I sit on the edge of the bed I wonder how painful those first few steps will be to get to the bathroom. I think about adding the work of a puppy to the daily routine of caring for Molly, the four birds, the cage cleaning , the box changing, my regular dishwasher duties, the laundry, and the once a week vacuuming, and mopping. I must confess the hubby is the primary cook so that is just an occasional duty for me.
But I’m finding the breathing thing starting to diminish. The up and down stairs involves right foot down on the step then bring the left foot to the same step and then repeat the procedure over again until I get where I am going. It is a very worrisome point to get to.
I keep doing my breathing exercise once a day but I should do it more often. I try to do a knit or crochet project but I get bored with it. I still have my doll houses to do but my heart isn’t it. It seems at around five or five-thirty some days I want only to go in a lay down for a couple of hours to revive myself.
I know most of this is mental and I have to get back to normal. I have to admit that I can’t add a puppy to the mix. I have to stop dwelling on what I can’t have, what I can’t do, and think of what I can do, how lucky I am to be as healthy as I am, and that despite the frog belly and the wrinkles I am a pretty women for my age. Also that I am loved!
Wow I feel better already!
