Tuesday, June 13, 2006
TO: GOD: FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but
seldom, if ever,
smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on
your couch? Or is
it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the
jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the
rabbit, but not ONE named for
a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding
around? We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename the “Chrysler Eagle”
the “ Chrysler
Beagle”?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the
forest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can under stand human verbal
instructions,
hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers,
scent ID’s,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight
paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there
are, will I have
to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of
the things I
must remember to be a good dog.
1 . I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat
it or after
they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,
etc., just
because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our
stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear
when he’s on
the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an
unacceptable way
of saying “hello”.
8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when
I’m under the
coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the
house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and
immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living
room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play
with him and
he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good
thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my
testicles
back?
Thank you Dar for sharing!
