Monday, February 12, 2007
A Little Down--
--but I can still see over the edge!!!
2:15 in the morning--what is that noise? The cat ? No it is my Brandy whimpering. So it is haul my old carcass out of bed, find some shoes, then a coat and the leash. Get Brandy, hook her up and stagger out in the cold. I stand there half asleep hoping that she is doing what ever it is she needed to do because I haven’t quite got my eyes open yet. I’m used to the cat bumping the basement door to be let downstairs in the middle of the night. I hear her when my good ear isn’t in the pillow. When it is Jay usually gets up and lets her down. But that is not near as traumatic as when the wind hits you bare legs in the early morning.
I’m sitting here tonight in a lined flannel shirt trying to think of something hilarious or at interesting to say and be darn if nothing is working. I know in a few days I will not have my daughter’s other mother to share a birthday with this year and that is a downer. We knew each for over 30 years and she shared some life changing experiences with me. The birth of Cindy, the death of my first husband, my second marriage and through it all she was nearby if I needed someone to keep things going when I worked. It is hard to think to realize that she is gone. She shouldn’t be. We were exactly the same age, born the the same day. On our 70th birthday Cindy and I took her to dinner.
I am also worried about this appointment with the new doctor. I’m hoping he can get Jay’s arm straightened around. It has been over six months since we started on the dialysis journey. He has had so many disappointments that I sometimes wonder how he copes with everything. But he does and that is what is important.
Enough of the down stuff--Keep warm , healthy and happy!
